What a wonderful world.
Hey, I don't reblog or post anymore. But your more than welcome to have a look and ask me anything ^^
Keep your heart closed.
Ask away anything
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Life.
I miss you so much and your not even talking to me right now, and I know I shouldn’t but I can’t stop the way I feel and stop how you make me happy just thinking about you…
Its bad since I know I shouldn’t really… but… hey, I love you. Always will and when I said that it wasn’t a lie.
You probably hate my guts but I want you to know that, I’ll be here for you whenever you need me.
I will wait for you, as I did before…
If only I could say that to your face without being slapped… :/
Life
Losing my mind. Seriously. Everything’s so shit.
Fuck.
These fucking headaches won’t go away.
I need to see a doctor.
I hope it’s some tumour it cancer so I die.
Life
So I want to kill myself. Yup. Been cutting myself everyday this week. It is getting so bad I really cant control myself :/.
I really want to die. I’m such a awful person. Hopefully…One day, everyone will get what the deserve, and ill just drop dead (:
Life
My brain just feels like it snapped. I cant stop laughing. Fuck this bullshit! To succeed in life you should be on your own. With people it is far too much stress. What I’ve learnt is that, you should really stop caring what other people think about you, what they feel about you. Not forgetting they themselves what to use you. Not true? Trust me, it is very true, they either want emotional or psychical support. By psyical support I mean anything materialistic, including money. They will take it and show you the middle finger when you need something back from them. Fucking leeches. I’ve met every single type of person, each with their individual personalities. And every single one of them are the fucking same. Only difference is that they will take a different route to make you feel like shit and use you. The words: “I love you” are therefore also worth nothing to me anymore since it is just objective, requiring something from you. I love you, so what? What do you want me to do about it? say it back for you to give you that satisfaction of being a likable human? haha . fuck no. not anymore. None of this nonsense. We as humans are designed to just survive . Whats the point of going through all that shit? You make friends for your own protection, to help your survival. Nothing more. But as you know, we will all back stab each other to become some sort of “alpha-human” because we are too insecure about ourselves.
Life as it is theoretically pretty boring, and somewhat pointless when you lose the instinct of survival. Creating depression which causes us to feel useless and completely meaningless even if we are surrounded by people. Once that happens it is hard to break out of it. But you can it is very much possible, ive learnt to deal with it. Fact is, dont let there be a chance that you will be taken advantage of in one way or another. All you have to do is make sure you don’t get close to anyone who may cause you pain or suffering and just live. Thats all you can do, it will ease the pain.
No matter what you do, people will leave you. Do whatever you can, they will always leave you. But if you can stand the pain of people leaving you and going and your not afraid of meeting new people and repeating that cycle. Then great :). But… I personally cant do it no more. In a few months I will be leaving for university, away from this family of mine these “friends” I have accumulated over the years and be able to start fresh how I want to live. On my own, by myself. Truly independent. Because I know then I wont over think trivial things. Just complete peace and harmony in my mind.
I will begin to tear all my relationships myself so it just doesn’t hurt anymore…
That is how I will find my happiness. You must find your own way.
Keep your heart closed.
Hey. How's life and school? :)
not that great to be honest, slacking behind on all subjects including work because of so much going on at my home, and on top of that my girlfriend started to not care and then left me when I needed her the most. Life’s a bloody massacre. But. Regardless, I’m actually quite ok? good? Don’t know what would be the right word, nutlike calm? Everything is just so clear right now like I know what to do and where to go and I know it has to be me by myself :) and I’m kinda prepared for it actually… I’m prepared for the worde
